Awake at Five
Woke up very early this morning — around 5-something. Sleeping at 8 pm, while the sky was still bright, probably helped. But I woke up feeling clear and whole, even enlightened, like I could see through my problems more clearly. All the things that have happened before, all the misunderstandings, all the fears of wasting time or not wanting to work — it all seems trivial now, and like I actually have the capability to take it all on.
Even wasting Claude tokens doesn't really matter anymore, because I can always just spin up a second account and keep working. And it's true that working between 5 and 11 am PST costs me more tokens. I think that's why, even on a Wednesday morning like this, I've already used 47% of my weekly allowance. Five days left, and I'm already almost halfway through. So I'm thinking about more ways to save tokens — otherwise I will have to spin up that second account, and that's a lot of work and money.
I'll probably check in more throughout the day. This morning I had some dreams — some weird, some that felt like another travel story, but all of them made sense to me.
In one, I was in a remote African country, or maybe an apocalyptic time period, driving my car to a farm and thinking I was stranded — so I decided to start farming the land with wheat in case I had to come back. Then another car realized I was using the wheat from their bag — which apparently wasn't wheat but some person's murder ashes — and the driver got angry and decided to hunt me down and kill me lol. At one point I hid in a barn, but they were closing in, ready to axe me without a word, so I just left the dream.
In another, I was traveling in Taiwan, and there was an Olympic/Nike store where my friends and I were shopping. One friend kept telling me what I should buy, even helped me with it. They left early, and I went to an elementary school to ask to buy their school meals — and somehow they let me, but quoted me prices for the whole summer, even though I'd only be there two weeks. I guess part of me craves elementary school lunches? I've never tried one, but watching my classmates eat them, they always seemed nice.
And in another, I got one of my brother's friends to agree to meet up with me and Jordan, because he might like him. Dreams are so interesting.